Page 7 - Top Cover Issue 18

SUMMER 2023 TOP COVER 7

Compassionate commitment: the

complexities around adoption

Faye Lowe, National Crime Officers’ Association NEC member, qualified

counsellor and therapist, offers an insight to this little-known area

I feel very lucky to work in a field as 90%. The situation for abandoned
that I absolutely love and I find it babies and children was dire for
a real privilege working with my hundreds of years, and only really
clients. I recognised early on that started to improve after the Second
I had a real interest in childhood World War. Even then the situation
trauma after noticing that many of wasn’t ideal, with a real stigma for
my clients’ issues had stemmed from both adopters (parents adopting
traumatic childhoods. children) and the adoptees.
I embarked on training in The process only started really
complex PTSD to ensure that I was improving in the 1980s and again
working safely with my clients, as in the early noughties, and the
it is important to have an in-depth Adoption and Children Act 2002 is
working knowledge of trauma, and where the needs of the child were
for many survivors, talking in detail really prioritised for the first time.
about their traumatic experiences As part of the course, I focused
can re-traumatise them. on how I can support clients who
“ I learned how hard the adoption process is, with

incredibly in-depth assessments, and the impact

this can have on an adopter.

In learning to work with adoption, are affected by adoption. I learned Contact
therapists are legally required to why a child might be placed for can take place
undertake specific training. This is adoption and why people may between adoptees
something that piqued my interest choose to adopt, and the journey and their birth
as the process of adoption can for all involved. I heard from a birth family, via ‘letterbox
be traumatic for all involved, with mother, a birth father, an adopter, contact’. A birth
many children having traumatic and an adult who was adopted parent can write to
experiences before they are placed as a child. It is important to hear their birth child, and
with their adoptive family. these stories, to have a deeper the adoptee can write
I was initially concerned about the understanding which allows me to to their birth family. If the
commitment as I work 30 hours a empathise with my clients. adoptee or birth parent does
week for the NCA; I am the National Some of my training was extremely not want to receive contact,
Health and Safety Officer for the moving. I learned how hard the these letters are held by social
NCOA, I have a teenage son, and I adoption process is, with incredibly services, should the adoptee or
also have ME, so balancing all these in-depth assessments, and the birth family change their mind.
demands did concern me. However,
impact this can have on an adopter.
I learned so much from this course
Picture © GOLFX / Shutterstock course, I was immediately drawn in adoptees to know their identity; to working with adults who are
once I embarked on the adoption
I learned how important it is for
and I am really looking forward
it can be damaging for an adoptee
affected by adoption. If you have
and I loved every minute of it.
been affected by adoption and
to have little understanding of
In the 18th and 19th centuries,
their background, so adoptees
would like some more information,
abandoned children and babies
please visit https://www.barnardos.
were sent to workhouses; in the
are told their background from the
org.uk/what-we-do
start, with many having a book of
18th century, the mortality rate of
their life story.
children in workhouses was as high
WWW.PFOA.CO.UK